On my fourth birthday, my parents bought me a small play kitchen. After months of nagging and trying to convince them to buy me one whenever we would go into toy stores, I was so excited that I had finally gotten my very own kitchen. I remember making my older sister be my helper like my mom would often make us do when she was making dinner. Together we would pretend to make all the foods we used to love. Always, when we would finish making our pretend meals, I would take plates full of that imaginary food to my mom and dad. Playing along with my fantasy food, they would take pretend bites of the plastic chicken and vegetables I would offer them and say how delicious it tasted.
Playing with this play kitchen helped shape the idea that my grandmother and aunts would repeatedly tell me: I had to learn how to cook so that when I was older and married a man, he would come home to a home-cooked meal. Even though my parents were the ones who bought me this play kitchen, my mom was a strong feminist influence who taught me at a young age that I could accomplish a bright future on my own and not depend financially on a man. This dichotomy between feminist and sexist beliefs has ultimately led to my view that any man is capable and should be taught how to domestic "female" tasks.
At the time, as kids tend to, I viewed this play-set as just another added piece to my collection of toys I would entertain myself during playtime. But looking back at this play kitchen with a critically vigilant lens, I see now that I got this kitchen because I am a girl. I realize now that especially in Latino families, traditional Latino fathers would never allow their young sons to own, much less spend their time playing, with a “girls toy”. From a young age, boys are excluded and taught that a universal thing like a kitchen has been viewed for many years as something that belongs to females. It is minor actions such as this are what continue to sustain the ideas that it is unacceptable for boys to do “feminine things”, like play with a kitchen, that have developed the patriarchal ideology that has suppressed females for years.
Hi Donna,
ReplyDeleteReading your post and the picture of your cultural artifact brings back memories of my childhood as well. I can think of many instances where my mother instilled in me the urgency of learning how to cook, she always encouraged us to be in the kitchen while she was cooking to see how she prepared her meals, like your mom she also believed women should learn how to cook to have dinner prepared for when their husband got home, hungry from work. I agree that if this kind of gift had been given to a male, any one of the parents in my family would immediately disapprove of this type of play.
Hey Donna!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this artifact that you chose. I also remember being young and being told the same thing, in fact I am still told thankfully not by my parents but by other family members that I need to learn how to cook. It definitely is something that as a Latina I heard growing up. Thankfully my parents never let that be the mindset I grew up with because they both cooked together. I also agree that boys don't have it the same way because they aren't pressured the same way girls are.